Monday, February 26, 2007

The Day After Oscar

'Twas the day after Oscar and all across the net
Nary a tongue wasn't stirring that wasn't somehow upset
The blogosphere was abuzz with more criticism than praise
And one blogger couldn't comprehend why so many tempers were ablaze
Though he didn't intend on posting anything about Oscar this year
He felt compelled to offer his two cents to whomever'd lend an ear
He happened to think this year's telecast went off just fine
While most of his fellow bloggers could do nothing but whine
The cries of "too long" and "too dull" could (as usual) be heard
While this blogger felt such criticisms were (as usual) absurd
Anyone who didn't expect a lengthy ceremony by now
Must have the intelligence of a retarded cow
As for the common complaint that the evening was "too dull"
What'd they want? Peter O'Toole to bash in Forrest Whitaker's skull?
While "predictable" was another epithet that often arose
He thought there were plenty of "upsets" to keep people on their toes
Alan Arkin winning over Eddie Murphy was quite a surprise
As was Pan's Labyrinth not taking home the Best Foreign Film prize

The stars all looked nice (as they normally do)
With only one truly embarassing gown (maybe two)
While both Helen Mirren and Reese Witherspoon inspired adoration
It was Gwyneth who proved she's still the most beautful girl in creation
With her gorgeous dress and long hair she made quite an impact
Which more than makes up for her "raccoon" look several years back
Ellen Degeneres turned out to do admirably well as a host
Though she was perhaps not as "tough" or "edgy" as most
Any year without Billy or Steve Martin could go either way
But Ellen's still better than Stewart, Rock or Whoopi any day
The big winner for the night was, of course, none other than Marty
Who, at long last, got invited to the Oscar Winners' party
Seeing Lucas, Spielberg and Coppola give him his statuette
Made for a night I'm sure he (nor we) will never forget
On top of which his movie walked away with the final award
Though this blogger ain't complaining as it's a film he adored

So, it may not have been as "exciting" as some would've preferred
But this blogger chose not to "follow the rest of the herd."
He happened to think, when all is said and done,
That it provided, as it should, an evening of fun
And so I end this little poem (as you figured I might)
Happy Oscars to all... and to all a fun night!


cineboy said...

what can I say, great post!

we had our little oscar party here too. as usual we had fun, although I ate too much rich food.

andyhorbal said...

Last year I ate so much spinach-artichoke dip and drank so much champagne that I was sick for a week! I honestly wonder if this isn't part of the reason why I'm so much less enthusiastic about the Oscars now than I was last year: negative-reinforcement...

For whatever it's worth, Damian, this is the only piece about the Oscars that I both started and finished!

Damian said...


Thanks. It was fun writing this post. Me and my family also had our annual Oscar party where we all fill out our ballots and see who had the most right. Normally I'm the winner but this year I wasn't (though I did manage to get "best picture"). It was a lot of fun.


I'll admit I was surprised when I read your post about not watching the Oscars, but then I actually respected you for it. A lot of cinephiles may berate the Oscars as "vulgar, garish, obscene, embarassing and masurbatory," but they still watch it year after year, though they say they do so "relunctantly/unwillingly" or "against their better judgment." Personally, I think they just like to have their cake and eat it too (sorry for the food metahphor). If you don't like the Oscars, don't watch it. I happen to like it, so I never miss it.

Oh, and thanks for the compliment too. :)

Jose said...

Brilliant post!
I loved the Gwyn love, that woman is a goddess.